I forgot to send a shout out to everyone who finished his or her 30-day challenge at Bikram Yoga of Bloomington. Great job guys! I hope the yoga gods have touched you in some fashion as that sort of effort rarely goes without reward, if not now, most certainly in the future. Congratulations to everyone!
I have watched a combined total of about 4 hours of television in the 2 months I have been here and have listened to very little music. I turned on my cell phone twice since I’ve been here and have not watched a single sporting event. How on earth have I done without these things all of this time? The Pittsburgh Penguins have rocked the playoffs and are playing for the Stanley Cup. Believe it or not I actually thought about bringing several of my Penguin jerseys here in anticipation of just this sort of thing. I can only imagine the look on the hotel staff’s faces as I walked by in a hockey jersey! Go Pens!
Just a note to document the exact time it happened. Monday, the 19th day in the month of May at 19:43 after class #67, that was the first time I thought I wouldn’t mind going home.
Tuesday was the first rain we have had since our arrival. It was pretty windy and rained very hard at times. It felt great to come out of class and just let the cool rain drench you. Several people just sat on the lawn in front of the “studio” and enjoyed Mother Nature as she replenished the earth with her life giving waters. I looked at a tree and my first thought was that I had been missing out on this experience my entire life. Simply enjoying the rain as it fell, no running for cover, no looking for shelter. The plants seem to say to me “this is how it always is when it rains, where have you been brother”? It actually took quite a bit of the humidity out of the air and was really, really refreshing. It’s as if my senses have been cleaned or cleared or something. I can’t believe how much pleasure I got out of simply standing outside in the rain!
Bikram returned Tuesday (5/20) at 11:30 and we all gathered in the hotel lobby to welcome him back. To me he seemed a little tired and why not. It was quite a week for him flying all over the world to attend to his friend’s final arrangements. It’s good to have him back and one could sense that he was glad to be back as well.
A gal by the name of Sheri Hull taught an excellent class Wednesday morning, class #69. She taught with dead on dialogue and excellent pace. I enjoyed it very much. The following day I actually had her leading our group’s posture clinic. During posture clinic everyone takes their turn and when you get up people generally announce their group number (there are 2 groups together in the room), last name, then first name. When I got up to present my dialogue she said “Frank DiNuzzo, I practiced in Minneapolis for a bit and happen to still be on Herb and Laiki’s mailing list. I’ve been following along with your blog and was waiting to meet you as well as to listen to your dialogue. No pressure, start when you’re ready”. "Oh shit" I thought! I heard several people intimate that she was really tough when she walked in and thought here we go, nice job mister blog man! I made some sort of nervous comment like “as if it wasn’t tough enough” and asking if it wasn’t tough for her. There seemed to be some confusion about whether I was talking about this training or blogging and I said training. She said no, not really and I asked if I could touch her. She graciously played along and let me hold her hand. I sort of went on autopilot from there and to be honest I could not really tell you what type of performance I delivered. Her critique was fair, as I am certain my dialogue was not exact and she mentioned my nervous energy in the form of my constant motion, which has been discussed several times in the past, so I’m sure she was dead on. I like her and talked to her several times after that. She’s in Las Vegas now but has family in Minneapolis and practiced both in Bloomington as well as at the Lyndale studio in 2003. Thanks Sheri for your friendly smile, for your good-natured “ribbing”, for your honest assessment and for an excellent class to boot. Great job! I hope to chat some more before you take off. I also hope you continue to read along for the remainder of my journey here!
Bikram taught #70, which was an evening class. He usually does teach the evening class and it was great to see him back up on his “throne”.
Dale Hall from Canada (Christian’s studio) taught #71 and as it usually happens in life, like magic, the universe opens up and we start to hear what we are ready to hear. He spoke so much during class about us being exactly where we were supposed to be and how far we have come both individually and as a group. He talked about relaxing and not pressuring yourself to be something you are not. It was a great class and I needed to “hear” everything he was talking about. Throughout the week a number of people expressed how much they enjoyed practicing next to me, as I seemed to give of great energy. Heather, during her posture clinic on Thursday morning said those that struggle the most get the most benefit from their practice. Now, this is not the first time I have heard any of these things, but it made me think a bit about my previous post and the “Rudy” comment. I received a number of emails regarding it telling me it’s ok, I should not be worried about it and to just relax, etc. etc.
Just to clarify that earlier post, in case there was a tone of regret to it, as everyone cannot see my smiling face as I type these words. We are what we are and everyone should understand that as well as be ok with that. My personal journey includes performing far above average in any type of physical endeavor for as far back as I can remember. Patience has never been one of my virtues, although I do think I’m getting better. Don’t misunderstand my previous entry however. I, at one time in my practice, used to beat myself up over the level of my performance, as if this were some sort of competition, since that was really all I was ever exposed to. I no longer do that, but to be clear here, to be satisfied with where you are is a pitfall everyone should avoid. We have a tendency to stay where we are comfortable, especially after we have worked hard to achieve something and we must be constantly on the look out for this type of behavior. It’s human nature. Have an able body and think your postures are pretty good? I bet they could be better with more effort and/or guidance! That goes for everyone, beginner to 15-year practitioner. There is a giant chasm between wanting to achieve more on a personal level in your practice and feeling as if you’re a loser because you cannot perform a posture like “the beautiful people” do. I’m far from the point where physically I simply can't improve. I’m just a wee bit tight here and a wee bit chubby there and together it all adds up to hold me back and that is what at times can be frustrating. I just want to become the absolute best I can, nothing more, nothing less, regardless of the amount of time it takes to get there. Capisci?
Sometimes, depending upon the length of time allotted for a posture clinic, the number of postures performed the previous clinic and how far ahead the group is, people are reluctant to volunteer to perform dialogue. As we race towards our final week here and with an extremely tight schedule that requires a choice between extra sleep and extra study, people fall behind. I will admit that I find myself exactly in that situation as we perform the final 2 postures and Thursday’s clinic found us finishing the 23rd posture and still having enough time to start the 24th. Everyone was reluctant to present and you can usually tell because people start to hide behind others or not look directly at the evaluators as if either is going to help. The evaluators get to the point where they start to suggest that they are just going to start calling people randomly. It was at that point that I stood up and said those familiar words, group 4, DiNuzzo, Frank. Having no idea what the correct verbiage was for the posture, I just looked the demonstrators in the eye and started to tell them what to do, start to finish. Of course, everyone knew I didn’t have a clue as they followed along on their printed dialogue sheets and they must have thought, has he lost his mind? I didn’t stop once though, brought them in and out of the posture and as usual was clear, loud and commanding. I turned to our evaluator Heather and apologized for not knowing the dialogue. She reminded me of my obligation to learn the dialogue and not blow it off just because I had finished and told me good job. She said what I was doing was actually teaching these people and once combined with the proper dialogue would result in some excellent instruction. So today, if only for a moment, I conquered fear. Thanks Heather for your kindness and instruction. I meant what I told you about that clinic and it pleases me that a number of us thought the same thing. Nicely done!
Bikram taught class #72 Thursday night and it was killer. People were dropping left & right. Numerous people were carried out of the room and several others were on the floor spinning, myself included. It was the hardest class so far without a doubt! I don’t know if it was hotter in the room, he pushed us harder or we were just weak from an accumulation of classes, but something definitely affected us all. I felt like I had consumed too much alcohol and had lost the ability to have my limbs respond in a timely fashion. They were several seconds behind my brain’s commands and I really struggled during the second half of the class. I actually caught myself drooling on my leg at one point! I sat there afterwards in the lobby of the training room and cried for about a half an hour. I’m not sure exactly what the reason is but emotionally there seems to now be a release after these incredibly tough classes. It seems as if I have cried more the last 3 weeks than I have in the last 30 years, and that’s not an exaggeration. I drug my ass back to my room, which sadly I have caught myself referring to as “home” here recently, skipped dinner because I was so exhausted and showered in the hope that hot water would refresh me for at least a couple more hour. I figured I would eat after the lecture, even though it meant staying up later, so I would not be completely spent for tomorrow morning’s class.
I may have mentioned before that we are required to sign in for all “events” here and that basically means 4 times a day, 2 classes and 2 other sessions (either a lecture or a posture clinic). Failure to do so results in a punishment, which is the need to perform additional classes. There are 2 long tables at the rear of the lecture hall and 16 sheets, 8 per table, with names in alphabetical order that represent the “groups” you have been assigned to. The sheets go out approximately 25 minutes prior to the event and are removed 5 minutes prior to the start of the event. I generally arrive in plenty of time to “sign in” and Thursday night was no different accept for one thing. I didn’t notice when I signed in that there was something wrapped and sitting above the sign in sheet with my name on it. I guess in retrospect I did see it, but paid no attention to it either because I was still in a fog or simply did not care. Someone came up to me a bit later and said that there was a present for me up at the sign in desk and honestly, I had no idea what the hell they were talking about! As I got closer to the table I recognized the bundle as the item that was sitting there when I signed in. It had a sticker on it that said Frankie D and something like Go, Go, Go just below it. I opened it up and it was a t-shirt that Martha had sent me. She actually sent the entire Minneapolis contingent something as well as some prizes for people who guessed the lyrics of songs during her class here early on. Everyone wanted to know what we got and who had sent it. I felt like a celebrity walking the red carpet on Oscar night! It completely changed my frame of mind and recharged my battery, at least for the rest of the evening! We all had these giant goofy grins on our faces for the rest of the night. Thanks Martha for the simple act of kindness. I’m not sure that the red carpet analogy truly does justice to how it actually made me feel as well as what it did to our spirits!
We found out today that just as we did when we started our journey here, one representative from each of the 16 posture clinic groups would be required to recite the final posture (Spine Twisting) in front of Bikram as well as the other 300 participants in the lecture hall. I’m not sure if that’s because we have finished the dialogue recitation 2 weeks early or if everyone does this and previous attendees have been really great at keeping “a secret” because it really did come out of the blue. They are also now talking about having us recite several postures in a sort of mock class situation. Of course this is type “A” personality central and many think that they are not ready for another show in front of Bikram even though a great number of people have been blasting through their dialogue. We will see what happens as next week unfolds.
I met Melissa’s mom Katie today who is here for a short visit. You may remember her as the woman who had been reading the blog from Florida that I said hi to a while back. I see now where Melissa gets her strength! Katie has taken several classes with us and has yet to leave the room. It’s challenging enough to take a Bikram yoga class taught by Bikram himself, but to take it along with 300 students as well as a number of existing teachers under these conditions is quite impressive. Way to go Katie, nice job!
Lesson #66 is directly related to lesson #52 mentioned earlier. Never judge a book by it’s cover. We all know this one, yet several times during the course of a day we ignore it and do just that. There is a gentleman here visiting us by the name of Joel Pier. He is from Philadelphia, a long time practitioner and at first glance he reminds you of a burnt out 60’s type who did to much LSD back in the day. He has shaggy hair, glasses, is a little soft around the midsection and he carries a bag of rocks around his neck in a small leather pouch and can often be seen with his hand inside the pouch playing with them. He sort of reminds you of the absent minded professor and it would be easy to write him off as some sort of nut case. Every opportunity I had to make contact with him was an experience unlike any I have had in my life. Every now and then you have the opportunity to engage someone who does for you without any expectation of return, without a hint of selfishness. I don’t know this man very well, but in what seemed like an instant, he made me feel better about myself, about my situation here, about where I was on the path of life and just about my life in general. His knowledge catches you off guard and his mannerisms beguile you. The next thing you know you are swept away on a crest of stories, explanations and insight that you find hard to believe has you so enthralled and captivated. I sincerely hope that someday, somehow, I myself can approach his level when it comes to affecting people in a positive way. I made it a point to talk to him a bit more on several occasions and when they announced that he was leaving there was heartfelt sadness amongst the entire group. He started by telling us several stories “for the road”, which then turned into him leading us in some chanting, which then turned into singing and in no time the entire group was clapping and dancing and bouncing around as if we were plugged into some sort of high powered generator. By the time he was finished our hearts and spirits were soaring. The standing ovation he received was thunderous. Bikram himself had referred to him as a “holy man” and now I can see why. Craig refers to him as Sensei Joel. What he did for my spirit during his short stay here is a debt I’ll never be able to repay and the next time I go to Philly to visit my sister I simply must spend more time with him. Thanks Joel for taking the time to offer the tiniest crumb of knowledge to a group of starving children. You won’t soon be forgotten Sensei!
