Sunday morning is here and I am feeling much better as the new day's sunshine brightens my room. I’m still a bit on the stiff side but in much better spirits. I had a great breakfast, very relaxed without any time constraints and lots of laughing. People are starting to loosen up a bit and feel more comfortable with each other. We all have exposed just a wee bit of our underbellies and have come to realize that we are all in the same boat, experiencing many of the same struggles and going through many of the same healing processes. While the “nuts and bolts” of the process can really be overwhelming, there is a certain feeling of compassion and empathy you feel when, say for example you see someone sobbing uncontrollably in a corner after class. You know because you have done it and you also understand that while there definitely is a reason, right now it’s just not apparent to you. You are just releasing stored up emotions, perhaps from last month on the job, perhaps from last year with the family or from that time in high school when that person did that thing to you. I believe I described it earlier as an emotional roller coaster the likes of which I’ve never ridden before and that’s exactly what it is.
I was just talking about how, while the training is testing us in every way imaginable, I would not want it any other way. It’s not some weekend retreat where you pay the money and then get a certificate after 8 hours of training. No sir, we are pushing ourselves, with the help of the staff, to places we never thought we could go. A perfect example is last week (or maybe it was week 3, I honestly can’t remember) I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and took a knee about half way through class in the hopes that the throbbing in my head would at least diminish a bit and out of the corner of my right eye I see the knee of a staff member who suddenly and silently just positioned himself beside me and began to perform the posture. He never said a word to me but through the haze I knew that this was one of those little mental barriers that needed to be broken through and not one of the more serious physical issues (the likes of which I had been dealing with before) and so I got back up and performed the rest of the posture. As suddenly and as silently as he appeared, he disappeared and I continued on with the rest of the class. I say this not to point out how strong I am mentally, or what sort of super yogi I am, but because as I was thinking about this incident this weekend, I realized that it was simply fear holding me back. I had become paralyzed with the fear of pushing forward and perhaps getting physically ill again after the previous two cramping incidents and of course that never materialized. It was all in my head. What could we accomplish without fear in our lives? What heights could we reach? Thanks Luke for the gentle bump. I’ll tell you this much, I don’t envy the staff for having to make these types of determinations. I am pleased however that they are here to gently guide and push us forward so that at the end of this training we will be able to look back and honestly say that individually, we accomplished everything we possibly could within this nine-week period. I realize that I would not be able to make the same type of progress without them, as sometimes all you need is that little bump in order to break another barrier. I also realize that not everyone here may feel the same way about the staff’s “encouragement”. It’s all a matter of perspective and what you're going through at the time.
Skin irritations are beginning to pop up on my stomach. Most likely because of the detergent used here at the hotel on the towels that they provide, but who knows. They look like little measles and can at times get itchy. Julie from BYoB had mentioned that it was commonplace during her training in LA in 2006 and I was hoping to avoid another arrow (like posture clinics on the wet carpet of the yoga room itself) but apparently you can’t have everything. We have had it pretty good here for the first half of training and I look forward to what the second half has to offer. Please don’t misconstrue my words as you read. I attempt to write when I can and often times it’s in the throws of a “Bikram hang over” and while it may seem as if we are participating in some sort of medieval inquisition, I can assure you that there is nowhere else I would rather be than here, participating in this training. The boys at the BMW dealership can attest to that! As I type this I look out my balcony door and observe the waves crashing on the beach. The thunderous sound they make relays the power of the ocean and the beauty of Mother Nature herself. The temperature has not gone below 85 during the day and generally there is not a cloud in the sky. Life is good!
Someone was discussing over breakfast that 2 of her goals from the start were not to have to do any make up classes and not to have to go to the hospital and have anything put into her or taken out of her. Bravo! Those were two of my goals as well and that was one of the things that freaked me out the most about the cramping. I kept thinking that they were going to make me go and get an I.V. for dehydration and I just did not want that to happen. I guess had I been vomiting there would have been no questions asked, I would have just been taken for an I.V., but since I settled down after some electrolytes and rehydration on my own it was not deemed necessary. Incidentally, the cramping seems to have settled down and with any luck it will not be an issue for the remainder of my training here. I purchased extra electrolytes to have on hand should I start to get depleted again and probably will start drinking some midweek even if I feel pretty good just to stay on top of it.
Cinco de mayo has caused the hotel to swell again this weekend with guests. Apparently it’s not as big a holiday here in Mexico, but Acapulco is a favorite holiday destination for the Mexican people, as well as those from around the world and the extra day off makes for a long holiday weekend that people like to take advantage of. It’s not quite as wild as the banker’s convention I wrote about several weeks ago as there is no live music just outside our balcony door every night! Those bankers were a fairly wild bunch!
