Michelangelo

Well, here’s a rundown of the third week of teacher training 2008 as viewed through he eyes of attendee Frank DiNuzzo. It’s been a wild week and I’ve not had much time to post.

My outgoing email does not seem to be going out properly. I seem to be receiving everyone’s email correctly, but no one is getting responses from me. Please forgive the “glitch” and I will be attempting to resolve the issue this weekend with the hotel staff. Several people have been having the same issue and hopefully it’s easily corrected.

Class # 22 (Monday am) was a very good class for me. I had eaten over the weekend as well as rehydrated and felt great throughout the entire class.

I have decided to do a couple of classes on Sunday so I will have performed 100 total during my time here. People sort of look at me like I’ve lost my mind when I mention it but I think after a couple of more weeks I certainly will be strong enough physically to do it. Giving up the day off mentally is the challenge although I feel better the following day when I perform the yoga. Monday morning classes after the day of inactivity usually results in some stiffness…

No water for class #23. I brought water, but left it outside in the cubbyhole provided for us to store our items while we are participating in class. My mind started to panic at first: what if I need some, what will I do? How will I get it out there? What will the person next to me think if I just grab their water? Now there’s an amusing image, picture in your mind’s eye the person next to you suddenly leaping wild-eyed in your direction about two-thirds into class and grabbing your water bottle like some sort of ravenous squirrel who just found his first nut of the spring! Anyway, it was uneventful and I completed the class without water just as Craig challenged us to do. He actually did not make it a challenge, but he did mentioned it and I felt I was up to giving it a try on that particular day and after all, what was the worst that could happen?

Martha taught class #25 and it was great. She said at the start that she was very proud of Patrice and knew that Herb and Laiki were very proud of us as well. She gave us a nice intro referring to us as the Bloomington 3. I felt pretty rough afterwards as I had some stomach issues I was still dealing with and think I need to up my intake of water in order to compensate. Martha was also the evaluator in my second posture clinic and I was somewhat relieved to have someone I know evaluate me early in the process. I felt somewhat prepared and she gave me a kind review. I have since started to struggle with the dialogue but know that it will come eventually and the tough part is getting up in front of your peers and freezing or stumbling on the words as you give your directions for the posture…

Cramps struck again after class #27 and just like the first week, they were pretty bad. I had 2 people holding me down and Craig, the chief instructor, had his elbow in my right glute to help settle my leg down. More electrolytes and fluids were in store for me for the rest of the evening. Mary & Carla have become like sisters, especially in times like these and I feel Mary would knock someone down if they screwed with me when I was in this condition! I try to look out for them, but physically I seem to be the one who needs the attention and while I don’t want to intimate that they are having a walk in the park, neither of them has had to be carried from the room in a stupor like I have had to be on two separate occasions. The nurse (Leigh) saw me later that day and thinks I may be getting too much liquid. They made me drink a 2-liter “potion” of sea salt, limes, apple juice and water that evening and honestly, it made me feel like a different human being.

I would like to make the assistants the focus of my anger, distress, fear, and several other rather strong emotional releases, but have been unable to detect a single instance when they were not at the ready to render aid with a brilliant smile and a kind word. They just shine like some sort of giant beacon to distressed sailors. Someone actually used that analogy and said during class this week that calm water never made a good sailor and while that may be true, surely rough water has taken it’s share of victims!

Speaking of rough water taking victims, it has been called to my attention that 3 people have abandoned their goal of obtaining a certificate to teach Bikram yoga since the beginning of our training here. I’m sure they had their reasons and I’m also sure they were valid ones, but I sometimes think about the guy who gave his sister a kidney some time ago and the fellow who blew out his knee 2 weeks before training started or the gal with lupus or the ones (plural) with asthma or the one that brought her son here and gets up at 4:30 every morning to study dialogue so she can have some time with him in the evenings. They are all still here and pressing on and it’s inspirational to be a part of.

A chunk of he-man fell off of me today after class #31. When class was over the instructor, Sarah (who happens to be the same gal I mentioned earlier regarding having her leg removed from my grasp with the jaws of life during my first “cramping episode”) talked about teaching from the heart and teaching with love in order to heal others and that while we may have thought that we were “signing up” for something else, this is what we were actually preparing ourselves to do. They started playing the Beatle’s song “All you need is love” and with all due respect to everyone who has ever told me that they love me, as well as everyone I’ve ever told that I love, I don’t believe I have every really been emotionally affected by the word love until today. I stayed there, on my mat, after class and cried for about 30 minutes and find myself weeping again some 3 hours later as I type these words. Imagine a sculptor placing an exacting blow with his hammer and chisel to knock off exactly what needed to be removed from the marble at the exact time it needed to be removed. What is left from the block is the beauty that is the art. It was a profound experience that in and of itself was worth everything I’ve spent, as well as everything I’ve endured for the last 3 weeks. Physically, I will gladly pay the price again over the next 6 weeks if I can have 2 more just like it. I have a lot of he-man baggage that I’ve been unsuccessful in unloading while left to my own devices. I said from the beginning that one of my goals here was that I wanted to be a better man when this was over and for the first time since my arrival, I feel as if I’m better not just physically, but emotionally as well as spiritually.

I wish my dad were still alive so I could share this with him. He was and still is the most courageous man I’ve ever had the opportunity to engage. I would have been so much further ahead in life in a great number of areas had I just submitted a little bit to his wisdom. But I thought it showed weakness. I don’t know what it is about us Italian men, but we think signs of weakness are not to be tolerated. Maybe it’s men in general or maybe it was just the way that I was, I don’t know, but I was always attempting to be the tough one, stoic and unbending. I now have come to realize that there are many different types of “tough guys”. I want to be tough like him. My way was the wrong way dad and I’d give everything I own to be able to tell you that to your face. Sorry it took me so long to truly understand what you were talking about.

Mom, thanks for everything you planted inside me so many years ago. This new spurt of growth promises to take me in directions I’ve never dreamed possible. I love you very much and thank you for all of you efforts over the years. I’m glad your still here to share this with me and I can’t wait to talk with you when I get home.